If You Ask Me: Christmas Always Comes Too Soon

We may still be waiting for summer to begin, but the insane marketing wizards are trying to convince us it's nearly Christmas, says Flo Whitaker

The first one arrived on 14th June. Within days, I received half-a-dozen more. “Received what?” you may ask. I’ll tell you what. Promotional emails, advertising ‘End of Season’ sales.

And what ‘unseasonal’ goods were being offered? Oh, you know; sandals, swimwear, camping gear, barbeques, picnic paraphernalia – the type of products that sensible people, still debating if June was too early to remove their winter thermals, had barely got round to thinking about.

Having spent a career in both retail and wholesale industries, I probably have a greater working knowledge of these curious worlds than the average passenger on the Clapham omnibus. I understand and sympathise.

The challenge of promoting your products and anticipating consumer demand, while efficiently fulfilling orders and juggling supplier timelines is akin to plate-spinning on the deck of a lurching ship. Total success is impossible. If you manage to keep your sanity - and most of the plates spinning most of the time, you’ll be doing better than your competitors.

Season’ style marketing, yet companies persist in doing it. Why deliberately irritate your customers? They say your messages are annoying and guilt-trippingly stressful, making them feel they are somehow being judged. “Still not purchased new flip-flops? Tsk! You must be a dreadfully chaotic, disorganised person”. No, they’re just incredibly busy; working two jobs and juggling childcare, while wondering if they’ll be able to actually afford a holiday. They take umbrage at your sneaky subliminal insinuations; inferring if they’d wanted a decent choice of summer clothing, they should have gone shopping in February – so they click the delete button in protest.

And another thing... any day now the supermarkets will be offering us Halloween tat and chocolate Santas. Well, it is August. Better get your sprouts on.